10 Toxic Habits to Give Up Today to Become Your Best Self

There are so many of us who go like “I am great at doing so and so. If only I could stop doing this one thing, I know I am going to change my life for sure”. Does this ring a bell? We all have this list of things that we wish we could stop doing for us to reach our full potential. Forming good habits is essential if you want to bring about a change in your life. But so many times, we end up working our asses off on forming great habits but don’t see any significant change in our situation. Because even though having great habits is important for success, they won’t be as effective if we hold on to certain toxic habits that pull us down.

What are Toxic Habits?

You may have a question about what exactly is a toxic habit? These are any habits you have in your life that exhibit the following characteristics:

• They are unwanted
• They pull you down
• You know you want to quit, but find it extremely difficult to
• They make you feel guilty
• They sap your energy

These habits can be anything from smoking, drinking, binge watching TV, biting your nails to even habits like procrastination and unhealthy routines. We have a very limited time in our lives to do all the things that we want to do without having to worry about spending our time and energy on toxic habits that do not support our growth. These habits will definitely come in the way of our own development and will stop you from creating a kickass Life Résumé.

For those of you who are new here and would like to know about what Life Résumé really is, you can find the post here.

So, today I am going to talk to you about 10 such toxic habits that a lot of us are guilty of harnessing. I would request you to sit and introspect on your own behaviour to see if you are habituated to any of these toxic rituals. Because identifying that we have a problem is the first step towards correcting any issue.

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1. Comparing yourself to others

Living in a world that is driven by Facebook and Instagram likes and reaches, it is extremely difficult to not envy people’s picture-perfect lives. How many times have you scrolled through your Instagram feed and gone like “Oh my God! She has the perfect dog! I wish my dog was that photogenic” or “Wow! He is hot, I wish I had that body” or “Look at the size of their house, it is like they are living my dream. When will I get to live my dream?”

It is so super easy to sit and compare how everyone around you has something that you wish you had, but don’t! Because you don’t know their struggles, you don’t know their story, you don’t live their life. Even if you think you know someone very well, you can’t possibly know all of their challenges and turmoils. Just because their lives seem perfect does not mean they actually are. Because we are all struggling at some level and that’s ok. We all have our own individual journeys and the sooner we accept that we get things only when we are ready, the better it is for us. So, don’t compare yourself to others and give yourself a chance to shine through.

2. Not letting go

Do you ever find yourself wondering about all the things that you could have done differently? ‘Oh! I wish I’d studied a little bit harder’, ‘Damn, I should have paid more attention to my health when I was younger’, ‘I should not have said that one sentence in the interview. I’m sure I’d have made it if I hadn’t’. There are so many things in life that you can regret. Only if you were a little nicer, fitter, hotter, smarter, more mature all those years ago, life would have been perfect today!
Well firstly, wishing you were different back then is not going to change your present. You’re still going to be the same person that you’re today. But wishing you’d done something differently is definitely going to make you feel under the weather. And why would you want to bring that upon yourself? Why would you choose to become miserable?
There are no mistakes, there are only lessons. The biggest thing that you can do from all these mistakes that you think you’ve made is learn from them, not repeat them and grow to become a better person. So, let go. Let go of all those past experiences where you could have done better, let go of all those people who hold you back and let go of your past self because that’s not who you are today. You have grown. In more ways than you think. Embrace that and let go of everything from your past that is holding you back.

3. Procrastination

This is a toxic habit that a lot of us struggle with. We plan to do something but then we get distracted and have better and more entertaining things to do and we keep putting off what we’re actually supposed to do. Procrastinating is the easy way out. Most of the times when we find ourselves procrastinating, it is not because we have so many more important things to do but because the whole idea of starting something new is scary. It is also because we are waiting to find the perfect circumstance for doing that thing. I am going to talk about the pursuit of perfection in a little while, but the only thing that can get rid of your procrastinating nature is just getting off your ass and doing it!

4. Not forgiving yourself

We all make mistakes. It is what makes us human. Maybe you said something super rude to your brother that time five years ago, or you dropped and broke your mum’s crockery or you did not take that job offer which, in hindsight, you think might have been the best thing to have happened to you. But what happened in the past is in the past.  You mulling over it and letting it hold you back is not going to affect anything. I really love the five by five rule especially when something upsets me so much that I know it is going to affect me long term.

If it is not going to matter in five years, don’t spend more than five minutes upset by it.

Five by Five Rule

So, go ahead and forgive yourself for whatever it is you did in the past. Let it not pull you down!

5. Putting yourself down in front of others

There are so many of us who, in the name of being modest, just love putting ourselves down. ‘Oh you know, I suck at doing this!’, ‘I will never be able to do what you do’, ‘I am terribly sorry, I have always been such a clutz!’. We feel that by putting ourselves down in front of others we are being modest and humble. That we are doing everyone else around us a favour by not blowing our own trumpet. But what we don’t realize is that we are harming ourselves in the process. When you are constantly telling people around you that you are not good enough, not graceful enough, not accomplished enough, not organized enough, you are in fact repeating that to your own subconscious. In the process of ‘being modest’, you are repeating to yourself that you are not good enough and that is bound to hold you back!

So, the next time you use any such phrases, check yourself and see how you can modify your statement!

6. Ignoring your own self-care

When you are busy, stressed and swamped with too many things to do, the first thing that takes a backseat is your self-care. In fact, many of us don’t even give ourselves the time we deserve to unwind, refresh and rejuvenate. Self-care is extremely important because unless you are at your best, you will not be able to give your best to your job, your family, your friends and anything else that matters to you. And ignoring the practice of self-care will definitely lead to anxiety, burnouts and various disorders like hypertension. I have talked extensively about the reasons why self-care should be your top priority. You can read the article here.

7. Stressing about things out of your control

There are things that you can influence and there are things you just can’t. Is the weather shit today? Well, tough luck, there is nothing you can do about that. Your boss is in a terrible mood and just yelled at you? Nothing you can do about it either. There is a terrible slow-down in the market and people are losing jobs left, right and centre? Again, nothing you can do about it. You cannot control anything but your reaction. That is the only thing that you can influence. And if you really cannot influence something, is there any point in stressing about it and ruining your day?

So, the next time you are stressed about something ask yourself if there is anything you can do to influence or change the situation. If not, take a deep breath and let it go. And remember, you stressing about it is just going to make things worse!

8. Pursuit of perfection

We live in a world where perfection has become an inseparable part of our lives. This toxic habit is fuelled by perfect Instagram posts, perfect bodies, perfect scores, perfect spouses. Guess what? Perfection is overrated! Everything and everyone around you is a work in progress. So many times, people lose out on opportunities because they are waiting for the perfect time or the perfect salary or the perfect person or the perfect circumstances. What they don’t realize is that making progress is way more important that the pursuit of perfection.

So, the next time you find yourself thinking that I will do this thing only when that other thing is perfect, pause and ask yourself how you can make some progress, and then go ahead and just do it!

9. Unhealthy routines

Spending hours on social media, binge watching Netflix, eating take-out every day, ignoring your health. We are all so prone to get into the vicious cycle of unhealthy routines. What most of us don’t realize is that all of these habits offer instant gratification but don’t really contribute towards our long-term happiness. And trust me when I say, instant gratification is overrated. Instead, try and create habits and routines around your long-term vision of life.

The next time you are tempted to spend your time on any of these unhealthy routines, ask yourself if there is something better that you can do with your time that would make you a better person. And of course, the problem is not in the act of watching a movie or checking out your social media feed. The problem occurs when any of these actions are performed mindlessly for hours on end! That is when it becomes a toxic habit.

10. Not being your true, authentic self

This is a habit that most of us are guilty of! We are so influenced by our family, our colleagues, our peer circle, that we end up losing sight of who we truly are as an individual. We get so caught up in putting up a mask wherever we go, that we end up doing things that are not true to our authentic selves. And being authentic is super important because when you are your true self is when you will love, connect with and nurture all the people around you. When you are being untrue to your nature, it shows. It shows in the way you deal with people, how you tackle your work and how you love yourself. So, make an effort to get to know yourself first. Familiarize yourself with your own unique, authentic self. And see how your world changes!

These are some of the toxic habits that I have seen people have in their lives and taking some small baby steps can truly alter the way you look at yourself and at the world around you. Breaking out of these habits may not be as easy as it sounds but when you do, trust me, it will be worth it!

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